Dear Ricky: October

Q:Recently, my girlfriend told me that she no longer wanted to be in a relationship with me. I feel depressed and can’t seem to move on. What should I do? – Broken-hearted

A: You are currently going through a difficult time – time that you should use to provide self-care. Eventually this pain will end and you’ll come out of it a stronger person. Before that happens, there are steps that you should take to ensure that you get to that stage with minimal emotional damage. First, you should accept your feelings. Whatever you have bottled inside should be let out. Cry if you need to – there is no one judging you. Although you may feel compelled to distance yourself, remain in touch with your friends and family. Let them guide you through this difficult time. They will be important in keeping your thoughts straight and making sure you don’t go too far off the reserve. Spending more time with them will also help you keep your mind off of your ex. It is also important to keep a diary in which you write your activities and thoughts for the day. This will keep you occupied and allow you to filter out all of your feelings which will aid you in getting over him or her. If you still have any contact or reminders of your ex, you should get rid of those immediately. Not only are they keeping you from moving on, but they are also reminding you of the past. Most importantly, see this moment as a new beginning. Stop dwelling and thinking about what was and think about all the good memories to come. Your ex does not define your happiness – you do. Once you start living in the present instead of the past, you will move on. Start focusing on life and your own endeavors and you will move on. It is not an easy process; it will take time, but eventually it will happen.

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